so I have a story...in high school, before my days of driving, my mom was getting me from play rehearsal and brings my dog Bonnie with her. Mom opens the car door and Bonnie jumps out. Now...Bonnie is a wee little dachshund. Precious baby. She spots me in the lobby of the FA building and something to note about this building is that the entire front of the building is glass...so after Bonnie spots me, she runs straight for me. Before any of us knew it...**SPLAT** Bonnie runs straight into the glass door. She was dizzy for the rest of the day.

Point of this story, I feel like Bonnie right now after crashing into that glass. It's been a busy busy last few weeks. I've moved out of my apartment, packed and moved stuff into storage, flew to Dallas, flew to Atlanta, drove to Birmingham and that was all within the last week. I'm still recovering! I have whiplash with all that has gone on this past week! It was great--but i'm super tired!

This past week was RUF training with all RUF employees. One memorable statement made, a man commented that he remembered back when Ruf training was only 25 men meeting, now we had over 200 people! Amazing. A highlight of the week was taking communion together as a body. We had the session at a local church come to serve us communion and goodness it was a neat sight to see us as individuals approach the Lord's supper and at the same time a joined body. The fellowship was great. there's something about spending time with people who know EXACTLY what has been going on this summer. We could all relate to one another in many ways. The week was fun, fellowship was great, laughter at the maximum! Look forward to October!

But the summer is drawing to an end, moving time is coming and goodbyes will take up the next few days! As my time in MS ends I have loved loved loved it! I will miss Mississippi! but certainly look foward to Dallas and SMU. I got to see the gorgeous campus and will be still getting to know it. Went to this amazing grocery store, central market. Best place ever! I will be there many times over the next 2 years i know!

Please be praying for transitioning, moving and still looking for an apartment! But i'm super close to finding something! I'm over 50% on support raising! That's amazing to see how the Lord has provided! Also please be praying for my fellow interns as we all collectively raise support to get to our respective campuses.

wedding season!

so this saturday will be my 5th weddding to go to this summer! My cousin Will and his bride amanda will be getting married in Dallas! so exciting to be going to Dallas to visit family and SMU! I'm getting super pumped. I also get to road trip with my brother so this will be interesting :)

So many friends are getting married and I am so excited to be able to share with them on their special days! Sitting in the congregation at a wedding a couple of weeks ago it was in a state of awe. Weddings are not only beautiful and fun, but weddings really are our adoption into His kingdom. We begin as two, but end as one. He takes upon our identity and our sin and we take the status of his bride! I get all the benefits as a child of God, none being deserved. It's humbling!

My favorite thing to do in a wedding ceremony is to glance at the groom right before his bride walks down the aisle with her daddy. Its a sweet and tender moment. Smiles are radiant and the verse of Jesus I Thy cross have take...

Soul, then know thy full salvation; rise o’er sin and fear and care
Joy o find in every station, something still to do or bear.
Think what Spirit dwells within thee, think what Father’s smiles are thine,
Think that Jesus died to win thee, child of heaven, canst thou repine.

A love so radiant and perfect! Hallelujah! What a great God who loves perfectly and wholly!

God is good.

He is providing exponentially more than I can say! He has called people to give and give graciously. I'm still working to get to campus though...

Please be praying that the money will come in.

Also be praying for traveling mercies these next few weeks--i'm going to be visiting churches, families and towns the next month!

My mom and i are headed to Macon, Ga today for a friend's wedding! getting excited!

July is 1/2 over..

so..where did this summer go? where did all my time go? Did a month a half really just go by that fast...the answer is yes. My time was being divided between finishing class and a 1 hour internship and support raising. Both of which have taken up much time. I am glad to almost be done with this silly class and get my diploma, but I do know that the Lord called me to be in Hattiesburg this summer finishing class and it has been a sweet time still there. I will miss my church family, RUF, friends and family as I move 7 hours away and 12 hours from my parents! But goodness I can't wait to get to Dallas!

I keep thinking about what the city will be like. I'm visiting in afew weeks!

I appreciate the prayers and financial support thus received! The Lord has been extremely gracious to provide and his people have been giving selflessly and mind-blowingly. I'm at about 30% right now and in the next week supposedly to be around 45%! so this is wonderful to partnering with individuals and churches. The most encouraging thing is people desire to support me and want to know what I will be doing. I am going as their missionary to the campus of SMU. They are attached with my ministry! So i'm so excited to be able to see Dallas and see where I will be for the next 2 years!!

Thanks be to God! How good and faithful is He to his faithless and blind child!

Cheers!

Oh ye of little faith

I Asked The Lord: By John Newton
"I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek, more earnestly, His face.

’Twas He who taught me thus to pray,
And He, I trust, has answered prayer!
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that in some favored hour,
At once He’d answer my request;
And by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Cast out of feelings and laid me low.

Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
“’Tis in this way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials I employ,
From self, and pride, to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”

Sin has a way of producing itself to where it appears to be so good and beneficial for me. This song has always had a way of humbling me and sending me to the cross in reverence for his providence. While reading "Trusting God" something was made aware to me, when talking about the providence of God we generally are referring to good things. "He providentially provided...or it was providence when (insert)." Never have I said, " providentially the Lord has allowed me to go through this time of pain, suffering, exhaustion, lack of faith, loss of spiritual appetite at time"...
What I am reaping during these times of trials in the trenchs of despair and loss of faith at time, is that God is still sovereign and good. While I bounce and waver and fall, He is ever faithful and steadfast. How good is it to serve a God who never faulters when I can't even stand up, to praise a God who provides a footing of stronghold when it seems too slippery. In my time of faithlessness and questioning if this is even what I am supposed to be doing, He is providing evidence that this is His will.

This hymn has always been one of my favorites to sing at RUF, not because of the beautiful imagery of our limitless, but because the music was so pretty and certain stanzas spoke to me. But in recent times, the entire song has been a gospel quenching song. The gospel pours from this. We in our sinful nature pursue what we believe to be "God's will" which is secretly and not cleverly masked as our own. And He is loving us, squashes our "fair designs" we scheme to become more real and beautiful as we realize our brokeness before His throne.

Just some thoughts that are running through my head at...5 am. lol

humility

So...
I am learning to be humble. Not to rely on myself or my family to provide. I am learning to rely soley on my Heavenly Father for my needs. It is a hard road, to acknowledge the fact that I can't bring in the money, it's the Lord's money that he is providing. I also can't sit and wait, I am also called to be proactive. This is the Lord's money and He is providing them, but I need to go find it.
A sin I am struggling with now is pride. Having to ask someone for money, or prayer support makes me feel like I'm taking it away from someone else. The whole I can give and give but I don't like to receive. Right now I am being molded and fired right now.

June June June

It blows my mind to know that June is almost over. It's been a great month so far though. Granted the weather in Hattiesburg, MS is extremely muggy and hot. My time lately has been emailing, contacting and sending letters to folks! and there is still SOO much more to do.

I have a summer class, the last one before I graduate!! It has been very difficult to stay motivated and diligent to my schoolwork when I know that there is so much to do for preparing to get to campus in the fall. Please be praying that I will desire to finish my work well as I get ready to graduate!

Well support raising now is 15% right now, which is nice! I'm moving up!

A thing about support raising that I have learned is that I am bad at asking. A friend of mine would tell me in the past that I am really bad at telling people what I need, and this is exactly what I will be doing for the next two years. The beauty through all of this is that if this is the Lord's calling for me, He is going to provide the money! Another thing I have learned is that it isn't a bad thing to ask the body of Christ for money to support me as I go onto campus. I am asking for a partnership with a church or individuals. I am going to be going to SMU as their personal missionary! The prayer and financial support will be used mightly in my work with RUF at SMU!

Prayer Requests---
-I've been having problems sleeping at night, please be praying that I was have restfull and consistent sleeping!
-That I will be daily exposing myself to the gospel and the Lord's Word
-That the Lord will already begin to provide community out in Dallas
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